Do What You Can't (Inspired by Casey Neistat) | It's Annie!

Hey Everyone,

Recently, I've had like an "identity crisis" or fear of the future or feeling stuck in my life at the moment, whatever you want to call it. Not only have I struggled with my school work/coursework, my mental health and memories of my past flooding back... I lost motivation and ambition. I lost the joy in what I love: Creativity, Learning and sharing a message, my message, my story. 

How am I dealing with it? By writing blog posts (they may not be posted, but the intention is there). By posting videos I never had the courage to post. By filming videos that I haven't had the courage to film, due to previous comments from 4-5 years ago. By making a playlist titled "Videos That Inspire To Keep Me Going", whether creatively, gaining motivation again or just to laugh/smile for the first time in a while. Although, my mental health still isn't great, I'm getting there with help from my family, friends and teachers (I'll talk about it possibly in the future, but I'm not ready yet, I'm still going through it, I'll talk about it when I'm through it and when I'm better).

I re-discovered a bunch of YouTubers and their videos which have inspired me creatively and inspired me to try to believe in myself and to carry on. I am in the process of writing a post about the YouTubers who have inspired me (look out for that). 

Also, quite a few friends have inspired me too. I'm lucky enough that I'm surrounded by a group of people that love and care about me, people who know what I want and remind me of it when I need a reminder and they're the most patient people that I know, especially when it comes to helping my mental health get better. For example, yesterday, I had a two hour conversation with a friend I've known since Pre-School, we had a deep conversation, most of it was me spilling what I've been wanting/needing to say and her patiently listening - you know who you are (I don't know if you want to be named or not aha). She reminded me that I've been wanting to pursue Blogging/Writing since we can both remember (and same with making videos, ever since I was about 12), and I've always wanted to help others, mainly due to my negative experiences (and it'll be quite nice to prove people wrong, proving I can do what they don't think I can). In Primary School I struggled to know who was friends with me, due to being bullied, but after speaking to my friend, I learned that she's always considered me a friend, this honestly meant so much to me, to know that not everything I believed was true, it's nice to know that I was wrong about that.

Leading to the title of this post. "Do What You Can't" by Casey Neistat always inspires me when I watch it, not just because of the YouTubers who made a cameo, but because I can relate to it so much. The number of times I was told "You can't do that because..." and most of the time... I believed them. 

For example, in year 8, I posted a video on "What Popularity Meant To Me?" People who I never spoke to before at my school congratulated me on my courage. The means girls who were mean anyway tried to criticised me, I just kept thinking "But am I wrong though?" and didn't care about their sour words. However, due to a few bad days, friendship fall-outs and some people being nasty about the fact that I was putting myself out there (by the way, surely it's brave to put yourself out there, not something to make fun of, but anyway) which was all happening simultaneously, I deleted this video and all my videos on my channel at the time. I said to my mum "If I still want to upload a video by my 15th birthday [which was 10 months away] can I post videos again?" She thought I'd get over it, like every other hobby I've ever had... Let's just say, I'm still posting random videos now (click here to go to my channel). The break from it made me even more passionate and from posting my first video I said: "I'm going to be a YouTuber and a Blogger". The likely-hood of that happening is very slim, but why can't I? 10 Years ago YouTubers didn't dream of getting paid for making videos, then their first check came. I still want to become a YouTuber and Blogger so I can inspire and help others like the YouTubers I watch have done for me. The amount of people that have said "Annie, I can so see you doing that" have been incredible.. but don't worry, those are the people I'd invite to help me celebrate milestones in my career.

I know I have to be very determined, work hard and be organised and consistent. But surely over 50 subscribers from 8 videos over 3 years is a good start (by the way, I'm so shocked and happy about it, if you've subscribed, thank you so much! It means so much to me). The fact that I'm willing to spend the time editing is a good start. The fact that I want to share my story and a positive message is a great start. I am in no way wanting to blog and make videos because its "easy" nor for the money; Nothing about self-employment is easy. The hard work, the deadlines, thinking up new, original ideas isn't easy. I love being busy and the idea of being able to post what I want, when I want sounds so appealing to me. This is what I want to do when I finish school, this is what I want to do with my life.

So, what's my plan for after I finish Sixth Form? I'm not going to Uni, I'm doing what I can't, just because I can. Trust me, I'll get there eventually and you'll be glad you followed my journey with me!

Thanks for reading!

Annie Xxx

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Follow and check out my social media here so you can see what I'm posting and when! (My channel and blog will hopefully be up and running consistently after my exams in May).

Casey's Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG7dSXcfVqE